Darth Hater

The following will be an attempt to decipher the works of the great complainers. The players that have a short temper and vocabulary. Those alergic to things like narcissism and exaggeration should probably leave without looking back. Seriously...run.

We will start with our most common works (the ones we see every 2.34 seconds) and go from there.


1.) Nerf Sorcerers!!1 - A classic work with hidden meaning that great scholars have spent entire careers languishing over. The most common idea in translating this work is that the writer has been dominated by sorcerers on a near regular basis. Recent findings suggest it is a possibility that only one defeat brought on the great literary work that is "Nerf Sorcerers!!1".

Others contend that it was utility and not damage that inspired this work. Quotes such as "bubble takes all my damage away!?!1", and "Four stuns and 13 knock backs are fare!1one!1!" lead some, more inspired scholars, to believe there could be multiple sorcerers involved in the incidents documented in these works.

Regardless it is widely held that the author was very young at the time text was written. Possibly even a child either physically or mentally.

2.) Blarrgh! Bag RNG!! - This work's genius came from its ability to tap into the readers very nature. The work starts masquerading as a tale of great injustice. Things promised taken out of cowardice, stupidity and spite. As the story develops it in turn changes. Similar to the way a child grows as it ages. The injustice was cloaked in the true issue that this work intended to highlight. Patience and maturity. The great injustice only seemed that way due to the lack of these things in the heart of the author. The author somehow manages to cry words, like a woman.

The conclusion most draw from this work isn't a revalation like you would think. Instead it comes as a cautionary tale. If you bring rng into an equation that involves an American or European audiance you better make sure the rng only g's one number. 100%. G.

3.) Haha tracer mussle!! - Also known as "Nerf Tracer Missle/Misile/Missel/Misel/Myssile/Mysel" this work gained quick support directly after the paperback release of "Nerf ops or lose ME!1!". A controversial piece that speaks of the dangers of one ability possessed by a powerful hero. While some are captivated by this hero others say, "well, just interrupt the hero or stand on the opposite side of a wall as him". The thing that this work does illustrate is how affected this type of story is by it's cousin work "Nerf Sorcerers!!1". Though it is almost unanimously held in this instance that all the characters affected so dramatically by the heros ability are dimwits. Easily affected by all abilities. Regardless of this knowledge the work still speaks to a great number of dumba...er, readers.

Either way the debate rages and our author has left us on the edge of our crazy chairs as we wait for part two in this epic saga. Will the hero be dispatched by his very creator?! Will the hero continue his reign of singular wonder?

4.) Ur Game is Inbalanced - The classic story of good vs evil redone with a twist of third party interference. A concept so nonsensical it works on a level even I can not explain. The premise of a divine creator purposfully sabatoging his own creations. Great injustice and lots of unfair advantages bestowed on either side of the conflict in a seeming attempt to destroy one side in favor of the other.

Now I'll be the first to admit this is too out there for my adventuring tastes but none the less the following this work has garnered is inspiring if not terrifying. While obviously a fictional tale spun by some mad man this work is believed to be a fact based account by some. These people are called something very specific that I can not repeat here for fear of being modded for the 4th time.



More to come in the second installment of The Crying Game: A Translation.