Brothers and Sisters, we have had our doors closed for a time too long. It is time to once again re-open these proud doors and reign in our flock. I , TheBBP, acting as the Self-Ordained Reverand of the Church of BioWare Positivity am here to welcome you all.
Now, can we get a little church up in here?
As the original flock and leadership have scattered to the four winds, we now are accepting self-nominations for these postions. [i](note: If you are a member of the Official TOR Jedi Knight forums, and like a COMPLETE tool you truly believe that BioWare hates the Republic and the Jedi then you should not waste your time. LEAVE NOW!)[/i]
Fray-yends, relatives and BioWare fans from around the world, welcome to the Church of BioWare Positivity.
Praise Muzyka and Zeschuk, who will be known as Muzchuk from here after, that we can all gather in the name of their works.
This church is founded on the belief that BioWare can do NO wrong. The Lords Muzchuk have sent before us many quality gaming experiences. They surely will continue their fine tradition of unparalleled greatness.
Any who desire to bask in the light that is BIOWARE POSITIVITY is welcome to do so. We do not discriminate by race, creed, color or noobness for we can all be equally positive!
Should your light dim or dare almost become extinguished please understand that BioWare Positivity will always overcome any darkness.
REMEMBER! The light of BioWare Positivity will keep you through the darkness... or at least until thy Release Date is revealed!
Please do NOT forget to honor the now-gone Prophet Dahlberg.[/b]
Please do not let us forget Holy Fridays and the [b][i]Friday Vogel[/i][/b].
[b]Our Vogel, who art in Texas,
Hallowed by thy game.
Thy servers come,
Thy will be done,
In Austin as it is in Edmonton.
Give us this day our Friday update,
And forgive us our troll-posts,
As we forgive those who troll against us,
And lead us not into development hell,
But deliver us from WoW.
For thine is the GD, OT and CC forums, for ever and ever.
Brothers and Sisters of the Church of BioWare Positivity, tonight's sermon is about doubt. Now I know we've all had doubts, at some time or another. But Brothers and Sisters, the doubts you have are of evil intent, thoughts sent to you from the anti-seans and their heathens. The seeds of deceit, the shadows they create, are NOT, I say NOT, the will of Muzchuk.
When they say "Thy animations are too cartoony" you say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"
When they say "Shall we rid of the Fan Fridays" you say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"
When they say "Have you thoughts of the release date" you shall say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"
These, my brothers and sisters, are temptations of the Anti-BeeDubs. But fear not! For Muzchuk's holy beacon of BioWare shall radiate down and reveal all when the time is right.
For I say unto you, did not Muzchuk give you the Bounty Hunter's flamethrower of righteousness!? Did not Muzchuck show you the CG from On High!? Did not Muzchuck reveal the planets, and the trooper, and the Dev Blog!?
Praise the Community Managers and their updates! Praise the Donna and her cats of ever-loling! Praise the Yellow Word, as it is the word of the Prophets! Praise Muzchuk!
But most of all, praise your brothers and sisters. Yes, in dire times such as the the hour of torment (also known as 3pm EST), your fellow members of the Church can help you see the light. They will remind you of the greatness of Muzchuk. They will remind you of the Yellow Words, and their infallibility. They will tell you of their doubts, and how they were washed away by the Almighty Muzchuk. And sometimes, they even bring cookies.
So for tonight, I ask that when you have your doubts, look to your brothers and sisters for guidance. For they have seen the light, and they will bring you back, to the warmth and glow of the Yellow Words.